Hi all. I finished treatment (chemo after surgery) for Stage 3 colon cancer about 10 months ago. My first couple of surveillance scans have been clear, which is amazing and I know I should be relieved. But honestly? The fear of recurrence (FoR) feels like it’s constantly stalking me. Every little ache, pain, cough, weird feeling sends my anxiety into overdrive, convinced this is it. It’s exhausting and feels like it’s stealing the ‘second chance’ I supposedly have. Does this intense level of fear ever get better? How do you live alongside this uncertainty without letting it take over?
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Hey Andrew. FoR is the unwelcome guest that overstays its welcome. It DOES get better, but ‘better’ might mean ‘different’.
- My Coping Tool: The ‘2-Week Rule’ for minor aches/pains. If it’s new and weird, I acknowledge it, note it down, and if it persists unchanged for 2 weeks, then I call the doc. 9 times out of 10, it resolves on its own, saving me weeks of panic. (Doesn’t apply to obvious red flags like coughing blood, severe pain etc., obviously!).
The 2-week rule sounds interesting. My brain immediately goes “BUT WHAT IF IT’S TOO LATE IN 2 WEEKS?!” – which probably shows how high my anxiety is! But I can see how it could filter out the everyday noise. Maybe worth trying to adapt. Thanks Michael.
Totally get that reaction! It took practice. Sometimes I’d ‘negotiate’ - “Okay brain, we’ll check in on this specific pain every day for 3 days. If it’s worse, we call. If same/better, we wait.” Baby steps!
Focusing on what I can control helps me feel less powerless against the ‘what ifs’. Eating healthy, exercising moderately, getting sleep, making it to all my follow-ups. Doesn’t erase the fear, but channels the nervous energy into productive action.
Talking about it is key. Here. Support group. Trusted friend. Partner (if they can handle it). Giving voice to the fear stops it from just rattling around inside your head getting bigger.
Andrew, you are describing FoR perfectly. It’s a form of PTSD, truly. I’m over a year out, and while it has lessened in intensity (less constant panic), it absolutely has not gone away. It’s now more of a low hum, with sharp spikes around scans or new symptoms. You are NOT alone in feeling this way.
Thanks Linda. Hearing it lessens even a bit gives me hope. Right now it feels like a 10/10 intensity most days. A low hum sounds manageable. How did you get it to lessen? Just time?
Time helps, definitely. But also actively working on coping strategies. Therapy was huge for me (finding someone who understood cancer trauma). Mindfulness/meditation helps some days. And acknowledging the fear (“Okay, anxiety, I hear you, you’re trying to protect me, but you’re being a bit extra right now”) instead of fighting it paradoxically calms it sometimes.
Therapy, therapy, therapy. Specifically cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques helped me challenge the automatic negative thoughts (“this ache = cancer”) and replace them with more realistic ones (“this ache could be muscle strain, overexertion, sleeping weird… cancer is just one possibility, and not the most likely one right now”).
