Hi all. I finished treatment (chemo after surgery) for Stage 3 colon cancer about 10 months ago. My first couple of surveillance scans have been clear, which is amazing and I know I should be relieved. But honestly? The fear of recurrence (FoR) feels like it’s constantly stalking me. Every little ache, pain, cough, weird feeling sends my anxiety into overdrive, convinced this is it. It’s exhausting and feels like it’s stealing the ‘second chance’ I supposedly have. Does this intense level of fear ever get better? How do you live alongside this uncertainty without letting it take over?
Andrew, you are describing FoR perfectly. It’s a form of PTSD, truly. I’m over a year out, and while it has lessened in intensity (less constant panic), it absolutely has not gone away. It’s now more of a low hum, with sharp spikes around scans or new symptoms. You are NOT alone in feeling this way.
Thanks Linda. Hearing it lessens even a bit gives me hope. Right now it feels like a 10/10 intensity most days. A low hum sounds manageable. How did you get it to lessen? Just time?
Time helps, definitely. But also actively working on coping strategies. Therapy was huge for me (finding someone who understood cancer trauma). Mindfulness/meditation helps some days. And acknowledging the fear (“Okay, anxiety, I hear you, you’re trying to protect me, but you’re being a bit extra right now”) instead of fighting it paradoxically calms it sometimes.