Hi everyone. It’s been about 6 months since my surgery (Stage 2 colon cancer, thankfully surgery only). Recovery feels slow – still dealing with significant fatigue some days and unpredictable bowel issues. My husband and teenage kids have been absolutely incredible, picking up all the slack with cooking, cleaning, everything. But I just feel consumed by guilt. I feel useless and like I’m just this burden they constantly have to manage. How do you shake this feeling? It’s really weighing me down.
Have you tried talking to him directly about the guilt? Just saying, “I appreciate you so much, but I feel so guilty needing this much help.” Hearing his reassurance might help internalize it. And maybe, on good energy days, identify one tiny thing you can do (like folding laundry while sitting) just to feel a small sense of contribution? But don’t push yourself. Healing IS your job right now.
As a caregiver, Lisa’s point about wanting to help is so true. It makes us feel useful in a scary situation. But the open communication is key too. Maybe he doesn’t see it as a burden at all, but as teamwork.