My husband finished chemo for Stage 3 colon cancer about 6 months ago. He’s NED, which is wonderful, but his mood has been so low. He seems withdrawn, irritable, and resistant to talking about it or seeking any support (like therapy or support groups). He just wants to “move on,” but he clearly hasn’t. It’s hard seeing him like this and hard feeling helpless. Any other caregivers experience this? How did you handle it?
You must log in or register to comment.
Oh Patricia, I understand. While my husband is still in active treatment (immunotherapy), we’ve definitely dealt with mood swings and resistance to support. It’s tough because you want to help, but you can’t force it. What worked for us sometimes:
- Focusing on shared activities not cancer-related.
- Gently suggesting couple’s counseling, framed as helping us adjust post-cancer.
- Finding support for myself (like caregiver groups) so I had an outlet. You need support too!
Thanks Karen. Finding support for myself is key, I know. Maybe framing counseling differently could help. Appreciate you sharing. Hope your husband’s immunotherapy is going well.
Thank you, Patricia. It has its ups and downs. Take care of yourself.
From the patient side, there can be a lot of pressure (internal and external) to just be “grateful” and “back to normal” after treatment. Sometimes acknowledging the trauma and the lingering mental stuff feels like admitting weakness. Maybe gently encourage him to talk to his oncologist about it? Sometimes hearing it from a doctor helps. There can also be hormonal changes or lingering physical issues impacting mood.
That’s a good point, Michael. The pressure to be ‘okay’. Maybe bringing it up medically rather than just emotionally is a better angle. Thank you.
It’s so hard when you see someone you love struggling. Maybe finding articles or posts (like some here) where other male survivors talk about similar feelings could help him feel less isolated? Sometimes seeing other guys admit it’s tough makes it okay to admit it yourself.
